Holly Norton’s Remarks

My talk is kind of a mix of stories. So bear with me as I jump around a little bit.

I want to begin with one way that God gave me and my family reassurance and peace after Aspen passed away.

Last Thursday night we were reading the Book of Mormon as a family, and we paused in the middle of the chapter.

The following night after Aspen passed away, we opened up the Book of Mormon seeking peace and refuge and opened right to where we paused the night before, Mosiah 15:20, which says:

20. “But behold, the bands of death shall be broken, and the Son reigneth, and hath power over the dead; therefore, he bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead.”

Aspen loved to play games with Jesus. She would play for both herself and Jesus, whom she so lovingly called, Yeshua. This is a journal entry that she had written titled, “Jesus vs Aspen:

“I moved for us both. Yeshua still won by 1 point! Haha, even when I am trying to hear Him… (I didn’t cheat… He’d still win ha!)I am imperfect, but Jesus? He is & covers where I lack- I tried.”

This next story is one that I have held near and dear to my heart for over a decade now. As you heard from her life sketch, Aspen screamed in pain all hours of the day, with enough medication to mostly allow her to sleep at night, for 18 months.

Her screaming left all of us exhausted and traumatized for many years. As you can imagine we were all worn thin, and patience and kindness was not always how we treated each other.

One night while our parents were out for their date night, a few of my siblings and I, along with Aspen, were at home. Some of my siblings were frustrated and exhausted with the screaming, and started to get upset with Aspen. We were children who didn’t understand why this was happening, and why it wouldn’t stop. None of us knew what to do, and we didn’t really have anywhere to go to escape from the screaming.

While this was happening, I felt pierced suddenly with a new understanding of how scared Aspen must’ve been and how tired and alone she felt. I went down into our family room where she was and I just hugged her, and said, “I’m so sorry”. It was the first time I began to understand from her point of view instead of mine, how hopeless she must’ve felt, how exhausted, and abandoned. I in no way truly understood what she was going through, but for a small moment, God gave me the understanding I needed, to try and comfort her, and tell her she’s not alone.

Aspen and I have leaned on each other for years. Even when we’ve been at odds with each other. We’ve taken turns being the stronger one for each other so many times, but I feel so

honored and blessed to have been able to care for her and support her in these last few months of her life on earth. Because now she will pretty much exclusively be caring for me and not the other way around.

Something that she and I started about a month ago, was giving each other a hug every single night before we’d go to bed. Even when we were upset with each other.

For a large part of my life, I did not like hugging my family. I did not receive love that way. But over the last couple of years I have slowly begun to appreciate and love hugging my family.

Both Aspen and I made an effort to hug each other more often, because we both reached a point in our lives where hugging became a healing gesture, and even if we were upset with each other, by hugging we could remind ourselves and each other how much we love each other, and that regardless of our opinions or our stubbornness, we will always come back to each other.

And something unexpected that came from that, and something I will cherish forever, is that I had begun to memorize the feel of her hugs and how I could feel her whole self relax and lean into me. I could pick out her hug blindfolded.

Find someone in your life, whether it be a sibling, a parent, a friend, or whoever else, that you can hug and hold onto, and hug often enough that you will always be able to remember their hug.

And lastly I want to share some advice, from this last week, of something that, had Aspen not done, we wouldn’t have so many things of hers, that we will cherish for a long long time.

Aspen shared her phone passwords with me, and because of that, we were able to have access to her photos, things that she had saved for my family that she wanted to share with us, access to her social apps that allowed us to share with her friends of her passing, and many more things.

I am not saying to tell everyone your passwords, but I would say to find someone trustworthy, who will not infringe on your privacy, who can know some of your passwords, in the event of something happening. But don’t live life expecting something bad to happen. Because most likely it won’t. But it’s better to be safe than sorry.

And I just want to say, Aspen loves you all. And my family and I love you all as well.